CCC: Governor, thanks for granting this interview. It's a pleasure.

JV: Well hey Mickey, it's like I always say, no interviews no elves. Hehehehh

CCC: My name's not Mic...

Jesse Ventura playfully smacks Alex on the shoulder, Alex falls on the ground.

CCC: Ahhh...anyways...Let's start off with...

JV: Lemme tell you Mickey, I was a NAVY S.E.A.L.

CCC: Yeah, I've heard that...

JV: People of Montana...

CCC: Minnesota

JV: ...Minnesota, listen up. I'm the Governor

CCC:....

JV:...

CCC: And?

JV: You see, Mickey, back in the WWF days, people didn't know just how smart I was. All they saw was the bright outfits and sunglasses, but they had no idea of the pain I could bring.

CCC: Are you sure you want to say that, being a public figure and all?

JV: I'm the President of Montana!

CCC: Uhhh...Minn....Minnesota. And you're not the President, you're the...

JV: The Body brings the PAIN!

CCC: Let's talk about...

JV: Boy lemme tell you what, Mickey, I got the munchies something fierce. How 'bout some Skittles? Got any Skittles?

CCC: Well, there's a vending machine down...

JV: Give the Body a hug, Mickey

CCC: I...uhh...don't really think that's appropriate...

Ventura gets up and hugs Alex

JV: It's all gonna be ok Mickey, I'll protect you

CCC: ..you're...ugh....crushing....(cough)...

JV: I'm talking about the love one man can give another man in the manliest way possible

CCC: Uhhh...I gotta...umm...interview Tom Arnold at 2...maybe we should...

JV: Haha! Bring on the hookers! Say, got any broken glass they can roll around in?

CCC: What the?

JV: GO BACK TO HIGH SCHOOL NUMBER 12!

CCC: You know, I'm a little wacky myself, but you're...you're really freakin me out here

JV: See Mickey, the Department of Transportation wants everyone over to the left side, while at the same time the FCC wants to either approve or censor every single word we say.

CCC:...

JV:...

CCC: I have no idea what you just said

JV: Ohh! Goobers! Do they still make those?

CCC: I don't...

JV: I'll tell you what Mickey, you hand me a pack of Goobers and drop me off into Afghanistan and within 48 hours I'll have every man, woman and child praying for snow.

CCC: ...snow? Why snow?

JV: Cause the Body brings the PAIN!

CCC: But I...nevermind. Let's talk about your movie roles. You've been in...

JV: Is it 4 yet?

CCC: Uhh, no. It's 11:45

JV: Great. That's great. I was afraid I missed my XFL game

CCC: The XFL was cancelled

JV: Come and knock on our door, we've been waiting for you

CCC: Are you singing the Three's Company theme song?

JV: Where the kisses are hers and hers and his Three's Company too...dada dada

CCC: I think maybe our time's...

JV: I'm a penguin. Check out this dance. I call it the penguin dance

Ventura gets up and starts waddling in circles like a penguin

JV: I'm the penguin guy...booda booda...penguin guy is coming..booda booda! Haha!

CCC: You're...you're freakin insane...I gotta go...

JV: Come on! Penguins don't dance alone! Haha!

Ventura grabs Alex and shows him the penguin dance

JV: No! Like this!

CCC: Umm...I think it's time...

JV: Mickey, what the hell are you doing? Get with it! What kind of S.E.A.L. were you anyways?

CCC: I wasn't a...I was in Cub Scouts. We...tied knots...and had jerky...I once had a S.E.A.L. watch though...

JV: Booda booda...penguin guy is coming...booda booda...

Alex looks around then tears out the studio door. Ventura continues to dance until 3 AM when he passes out from exhaustion.


All interviews are completely untrue