CCC: Hey Emilio. Thanks for doing the interview.

EE: Hey no problem. I don't have to be back to Circuit City until 1.

CCC: Excellent. So let's start from the beginning.

EE: Sure.

CCC: Young Guns 2.

EE: What? That's not the beginning.

CCC: Sure it is. It went Young Guns 2, Repo Man, then Mighty Ducks 3.

EE: No it didn't. That doesn't even make sense.

CCC: Is it true you threw a toy duck at Richard Dreyfuss' head during the filming of Stakeout?

EE: What? No. No that's not true at all. Where did you hear that?

CCC: I read it right here in your tell all book, see?

EE: That's just a crumpled piece of paper with "Emilio Tells All" scribbled on it in crayon.

CCC: So you deny the attack?

EE: Yes!

CCC: Shhhh.

EE: What?

CCC: They can hear us.

EE: Who? Who can hear us?

CCC: Rrrrr! Fffttt!! Mew mew mew!!

EE: You're f*cking nuts man...

CCC: Hey, I wasn't in Men at Work.

EE: ...yeah. I guess.

CCC: So in Mission:Impossible, done with your childhood friend Tom Cruise, you are unbilled. Why is that?

EE: Yeah, Tom's an old friend. I was just doing him a favor.

CCC: Doing HIM a favor?

EE: Yeah! What are you implying?

CCC: Oh nothing. I'm sure the appearance of Repo Man himself tremendously helped the biggest movie star on earth...

EE: Shut up!

CCC: Ok ok ok...my bad. So, what was is like working with Lou Diamond Phillips?

EE: Well, it was great. I've worked with him 3 times now and...

CCC: Wait. Nevermind. Nobody cares. What about Charlie Sheen? How did you meet him?

EE: Ummm...he's my brother...

CCC: Wow. You guys are that close? That's pretty neat.

EE: No. I mean he's my actual BROTHER. We are related, you know?

CCC: What? That doesn't make sense. You have different last names.

EE: Yeah, I thought Estevez, my mom's name, sounded better than Sheen.

CCC: That's really sick Emilio.

EE: Sick? What are you talking about?

CCC: Maybe that's normal in mighty duckville, but here on EARTH that's called incest.

EE: What? Incest? You are really f*cked man!

CCC: No son, you are.

EE: Huh?

CCC: Ok let's move on. Breakfast Club. What was that experience like?

EE: It was great. The most fun I've had on a set.

CCC: Did you guys know you were making something special?

EE: Yeah, I think we really did. There's been dozens and dozens of teen movies, but that really encapsulated the clique's of high school.

CCC: It sure did. You got to work with some pretty big stars, too.

EE: Yeah, well, none of us were really super famous then. We were still pretty young.

CCC: And Judd Nelson...

EE: Yeah, he was great.

CCC: Wow. Judd Nelson before he was mega-star Judd Nelson. That musta been great working with him before he honed his skills.

EE: Umm...yeah....

CCC: Do you still keep in touch with him?

EE: Well, he just detailed my car last week, so kind of.

CCC: Awesome. Awesome!! Does he remember you? Or has the fame gone to his head?

EE: Uhh, no, he remembers me just fine...

CCC: That is soo cool. Who woulda thought? Wow. Anyway, Judgement Night sucked pretty hard...

EE: I know. It seemed good, but then it just kinda lost it's way. Too bad.

CCC: Indeed. So, both your "brother" and dad have their own television series', when are we going to see you?

EE: Well, I've been pitching an idea around, but no interest yet.

CCC: Care to enlighten us?

EE: I'm not sure if I want to say...I don't want anyone to steal the premise...

CCC: Relax. No one's going to steal it. Besides, you aren't even here. Some guy in Minnesota is writing this.

EE: Good point. Ok, so it goes like this. There's this guy. Everyday average Joe...

CCC: His name is Joe?

EE: Uhh, no...that's just an expression...

CCC: Gotcha!

EE: Yeah...well...anyway, so there's this average guy...

CCC: Named Joe!

EE: No! It's just an expression!

CCC: Gotcha!!

EE: Ok, this GUY...

CCC: Yes?

EE: He's just an average guy who lives in a big city, then one day, a long-lost dog comes and...

CCC: Wait wait wait.

EE: What?

CCC: Ok go ahead.

EE: ...alright. So this guy and this dog...

CCC: Named Joe!

EE: Aggh!!! Forget it!!

CCC: No, please continue Mighty Duck. This sounds fascinating...

EE: Hey! You know what your problem is?

CCC: No, why don't you tell me, Martin Sheen's bastard son?

EE: You make fun, but you're just jealous that I'm famous and you're not.

CCC: Well, yeah, I suppose you're right...but...

EE: But what?

CCC: Well...

EE: What?

CCC: I wasn't in Men at Work.

EE: A**hole!!


All interviews are completely untrue