For 3 horrific hours, Muffins the cat sat atop an old Dutch elm tree in suburban Maryland paralyzed with fear. All hope was lost, and 87 year-old Edna Wilbaum was preparing to chamber Muffins' fatal rounds into her Browning M2HB when out of nowhere swooped down character actor Henry Winkler.
"Talllyhooo!!!!" cried Winkler as he flew from the heavens to rescue the trembling kitty.
"I was so scared" said Wilbaum, wearing the same robe she's had on since the Bay of Pigs. "Muffins is my whole life. If I never saw her again, I don't know what I would've done. Well, yeah, I guess I probably would've gotten another cat."
But thanks to the quick thinking of The Waterboy star, Wilbaum can go now rest easy and continue to shave mini crop circles into Muffins, as she does every Tuesday night during "Frasier"
And what of the heroics of the almighty Winkler? Well, he had vanished just as quickly as he came, and the only proof is a photo taken by a man who looks astonishingly like Hall of Fame quarterback Dan Marino.
"Oh!" cried Wilbaum, "I so wish he would've stayed around. That boy from Happy Days can expect a whole mess of Edna's famous macadamia nut cookies, I tell you what!."
Sadly, Edna Wilbaum was crushed by a stray low-income housing development, and Winkler never received the cookies.
Oddly, the so-called "nicest guy in Hollywood" was anything but. "What a stupid bitch" said a visibly angered Winkler. "I save her cat and she lies about cookies. I'm glad she's dead"
Winkler then flew off to the for a 3 episode deal as the crazed Iranian farmer Mr. Moofslah on the hit series "George Lopez".
